BARE FACED CHEEK

Vocals and Guitar - Olga
Bass and Vocals - Dean
Drums and Vocals - Marti
Produced by The Toy Dolls and Terry Gavaghan
Recorded at Impulse Studios, Wallsend, Tyne And Wear, UK

Olga: "I took a long time to write this heap o' crap! I really thought it was gonna be the best album! Maybe I took too much time? I wasn’t happy at the time of writing, I was going out with a psychopath as I remember! Yul Brynner and Ashbrooke Launderette were nice I thought. My guitar suddenly broke in the studio and I had to use the engineers guitar with a pedal, I hate pedals!"

BARE FACED CHEEK

You got me outta my head
Coz i'm not h, h, h, hunky
You're driving me insane
Coz i'm not f, f, funky
Well it's a bare faced cheek
Calling me a skinny freak
It's a bare faced cheek
You say i'm a skinny punk
And you call me a cheeky monkey

YUL BRYNNER WAS A SKINHEAD

There's a fella from a film
Reminds me of duncan goodhew
But he's not a proper skinhead
Cause he hasn't got a tattoo

He's not as wise as he seems
Coz he's just an actor
He's a dunce, i've never seen
Him on the krypton factor

We all rinse in silvekrrin
To keep our head clean
But we know that yul's not
A common human being
Coz he uses mr. Sheen...

Chorus:
Yul brynner, yul brynner,
They say he's a skinhead
But we know that it's a lie
Yul brynner, yul brynner
He is just a baldly geezer
From the kink & i,
Yul bbbbb brynner

Yul brynner was a skinhead
They said on the news,
But i've never seen yul brynner
Wearing doctor martens shoes

His only claim to fame was that
He had a shiny nut
But i would look just the same
If i had my hair cut

We all rinse in silvekrin...

Chorus

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH NEAL?

There's a bloke from hereford road
Who really makes me groan,
Everyday he's at the door
Or on the telephone
Why can't he just go away
And leave me here alone
In the pictures in the pub
No one can ever know
Just how much a pest he is
He's everywhere i go

Chorus:
It's not fair he's always there
Everywhere i go neal's there,
How do you deal with dddd deal with
It's not fair neal's everywhere i go
It's not fair he's always there
Everywhere i go neal's there
How do you deal with ddd deal with neal.

Everyday i cannot eat my grub
Or drink or sleep
Everyday neal pulls up in his car
And goes beep beep
What am i supposed to do
About this bloomin' creep
Everyday i look outside
To see if neal's about
Everyday he's there without a doubt
Chorus

It doesn't matter where i go
Neal will be there i know
Neal is not a man
He's mice i know

HOWZA BOUTA KISS BABE??!

Bored at a party saturday night looking at tupperware,
In came a chick who made me quickly glad i was th there,
How could i get the courage to ask her for a date?
‘twas such a task for me to ask by then it was too late

Chorus:
Howza bouta... Howza bouta, oooo she drives me crazy
Howza bouta, howza bouta kiss baby!

Why am i such a whimp i thought a soft and skinny puff
For me to ask a kiss from her was difficult & tough
Right that's it i decided to confront the lass,
I started shakin' at the knees & tried to make a pass
Chorus

I lose my bottle everytime i see a girl i like
I start talkin' gibberish & she says "on yer bike"
There must be something i can do a kiss would make my day
But everytime my gob opens i don't know what to say
Chorus

FISTICUFFS IN FREDERICK STREET

Frederick street was on the news tonight
Outside fosters club had been a fight
And every time you go to dig the beat
You will hear a yelp and somebody shouting for help...

Chorus:
Hello, hello, hello, hello, who's down there?
Who's down there?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, who's down there?
Who's down there?
In the fisticuffs in frederick street
I don't wanna be, i don't wanna be, you don't wanna be,
We don't wanna be there..

Fosters club was full up to the brim
Everybody risking life and limb
And just to go and pose at the disco
But posing wasn't easy and the dj
He got queasy, blow by blow...

Chorus

Everything's silent on frederick street
A lonely policeman walks the beat...

Before long everybody'll know
That fosters club is not the place to go
Unless you want your head kicking in
You will hear a yelp and somebody shouting for help...

Chorus

A. DIAMOND

Good morning britain.....
Nobody can believe what the sun's gonna be.....
A married chap....
Been having it off with annie now annie's feeling crap..
Cause annie's been left in the craaaa
She doesn't care...
Cause annie's been putting herself about everywhere
We all agree... Annie is a scrubber get her of the tv

Russell grant and jimmy grieves and gordon honycombe
Nick kelly they all agree send annie back home...

Chorus:
Annie, annie, get the dodgy boiler off the tv
Annie, annie, now we're not fond of annie diamond
Get her off, get her off.... Of the tv

We're really sick....
Annie was a canny lass and now she's up the stick
We couldn't tell....
But now we can we know that annie's a dirty jezebel

Russell grant and jimmy grieves....

Chorus

She used to have a thousand fans that really used to spoil her
Until they found out that anne's a dodgy boiler...

Solo... Chorus

QUICK TO QUIT THE QUENTIN

Oh quarter to five we were barely alive
We were hungry,
Three weeks we've been together through
Wet and rainy weather, we were c, c, c, cold,
Oh out on the trek of a hotel to check in that night
But we knew we’d done wrong from the stink
And the pong & the feeling that something
Wasn't right...

Chorus:
We were quick quick quick, ooooh, oooh
Hotel quentin hotel hell
We were quick to quit the quentin
A place you shouldn't have went in
We were quick quick quick, ooooh, oooh,
It's crap here we could tell,
We were quick to quit the quentin
A night we should have spent in another hotel.

That evening we felt bad ‘twas the dinner that
We had, at hotel quentin...
At the breakfast we won't show up,
Coz we don't want to throw up anymore,
And we knew we’d done wrong from the stink
And the pong & the feeling that something
Wasn't right...

Chorus

On your honeymoon or on your holiday,
You're gonna need a place to stay
Take our advice the quentin is not nice,
If you see the hotel quentin stay away...

Chorus

NOWT CAN COMPARE TO SUNDERLAND FINE FARE

If you can't afford to spend a lot
And you're sick of the cost of livin’
You've got to do something but you dunno what,
Just look what fine fare's givin,
Prices that please you and me
It's cheaper than a pakistani shop
Oh now you know the place to go
To make you smile and grin,
So take a dare come to fine fare
And get your shoppin' in

Chorus:
We've got the store, nowt can compare,
We've got the store for you.
We've got the store, sunderland's fine fare,
We've got the store for you
This is the store for you..

Oh prestos, tesco's, asda price
They're all so cccrap
The fine fare boys are much more nice
Coz fine fare's got more class.
You'll save much more at the fine fare store
Coz fine fare's fair to you

Oh now you know the place to go...

Chorus

NEVILLE IS A NERD

We all believed that neville
Was a f f f fine lad
But when we go to know him better
Neville drove us mad.
Neville is a bighead
Neville is a pain
Neville is a prat without a brain

Chorus:
What a wally, what a burk
He sticks out like a sore thumb
He's a wally, he's a jerk
Nobody can be as dumb

Neville's a hopeless case
He can never pull a bird
Neville's thick and he's got a pig face
Neville is a nutter, neville is nerd
Oh neville is a nutter, neville is....
Neville is a nerd.
Neville gets on your wick
Neville is a moron
Neville makes you sick
Oh neville is a neville is a nerd

Oh neville's wearing aramus
And a little touch of brut,
He thinks he will pick up a chick
In his white trendy suit,
Sunglasses in the disco
Nev can't see too clear
He's such a burk, he trips and
Spills his beer
Chorus

Neville's nice to all the girls
But it's just a bluff
Neville thinks he's jack the lad
But he's just a trendy puff.
He says he's been to tenerife
And he knows simon le bon,
But it's a codswallop
Coz neville is a con

Chorus

PARK LANE PUNCH UP

Oh sittin in the taxi rank in park lane
In comes a trendy geezer with no brain,
And staring at a punk who was a good mate,
I said let’s make a move but it was too late

Chorus:
Up goes a shout, a rumble in the crowd
A fight breaks out, someone starts clouting me,
Call in the army oooh
Call in the army
Call in the army oooh
Call in the army...

The park lane punch up escalates
Somebody's teeth have gone
It's too much for the coppers
There's a riot going on, so
Call in the army, call in the army...

Park lane quickly turns into a bloodbath
A disco boy lies unconscious on the red path,
Coppers helmets knocked off in the gutter
All because of a trendy towny nutter

Chorus

THE ASHBROOKE LAUNDERETTE (YOU'LL STINK, YOUR CLOTHES’LL SHRINK, YOUR WHITES’LL BE AS BLACK AS INK)

I didn't have a spin dryer so i had to go
He didn't have a spin dryer so he had to go
With his dirty socks and undies o, o, o, o, oh
To the cleaners on the corner, but how was i to know
They’d be more dirty at 3:30 oooooh

Chorus:
Rub a dub a dub dub we wash and scrub
We wash your laundry,
Rub a dub a dub dub we wash your laundry..
They say my clothes are cleaner
But i'm not a lunatic
They should be shot they have not got
Per-sil auto-matic
Rub a dub a dub rub a dub a dub dub...

So many things go missing at the ashbrooke launderette
So many things go missing at the ashbrooke launderette
The clothes that you have left dirty and wet
So if you want some washing done
D, d, d, d, don't forget,
You'll suffer at the ashbrooke launderette...
Chorus

You'll stink, your clothes shrink
Your whites'll be as black as ink
Your best red jumper turns to pink
All crumpled up and wet
We've been, have you been
To get your dirty washing clean
Are you clean you couldn't have been
To the ashbrooke launderette...