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Vocals and Guitar - Olga
Bass and Vocals - Gary Funn
Drums and Vocals - Marty
Produced by Michael (Olga) Algar
Engineered by Fred Purser
Recorded at Trinity Heights, Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Olga: "This is a good album, not as good as what it could have been though, 2 or 3 songs let it down, the production is very nice and the version of Livin la Vida Loca is faaantastic. Yeah, its a really nice album, intro is too long, Charlie’s Watchin' and I’ve Had Enough O' Magaluf are great. I would buy it!"


May i always listen to the anniversary waltz with you
Is this just a dream come true
An anniversary wish for you

May this be the answer to all future years
Millions of heartaches and a few little tears.

May i always listen to the anniversary waltz with you


I gets me a night cap
She says gee, i feel crap
I shouts oi! Whats up?
Ya stink, i think yer drinkin too much

She's gone, yippee!
I turn on, the tv
But there's a snag, coz she's a bag,
She's back to nag & torment me

Iddlely aye ay, iddley aye oh...
She makes me cringe, she makes me scream,
Iddeley aye oh, iddley aye ay.
How comes my missus is so mean
She's obscene.

She's obscene

She says get, yer hair cut
She won’t let me have a hairy nut
Complains, about nowt
No brains, insane she’s a strain a pain
I could do without. Without

She's a ba...
Guitar bit

Distressed, i feel blue
You've guessed
It's all down to all down to you
My baby is a battleaxe
And now there's nothin' i can do...



My mates warned me long ago
She will make you blue oo oo
They said you've been had

Untidy tart they told me so
The home that i once knew oo oo
Was a filthy floozy’s pad

One more, two more
Fleas on the bedroom floor
No ones ever seen her, with a vacuum cleaner
Three more, four more
Mice unite at the kitchen door
It weren’t no rotten rumor,
He could never move her
And i never saw her with a hoover.

I'd fell for a hag from hell
She weren’t the one to woo oo oo
In my new hovel.

One more....
Guitar time.

She's nicked off, i'm in a spin
The first thing i shall do oo oo
Is plug the hoover in.

One more....


He'll never know why he let betty go
Through the tears, he threw the years away, oh
So long ago and he still needs her so
Alec's back oh, but betty's gone

And i'm so blue, and i can't see
What i can do, betty.

Dark and its cold with no betty to hold
In the rovers, it’s all over now, oh
Too late to know, if she still needs him so
Alec's back oh, but betty's gone

And i'm so blue
And i can't see
What i can do betty

Guitar bit.
And i'm so blue...

Alec's come home but alec's still alone
No pretending it's the ending now, oh
We'll never know more of this tale of woe
Coz alec's back oh, but betty's gone

Betty's gone...


He's a trainspotter, he’s an anorak
He's a nerd, you've heard the word, a dork, a maniac
He's a pratt, he’s a geek, a freak, he's one o' those
Squarest tossers in the street, n' everybody knows

Dorkamania, he's goininsania
I never met a moron who is more mundania
Dorkamania, he's gotta a be brainia
But what's he gonna do when he gets there
Coz it's all

In ornithology, he’s got a ph.D.
He's a master, bater, taken to the 1st degree
Grand world class chess champions,
The wally worships these
He's a bore, i've said before, and we all agree

It's... Dorkamania

He's absurd, there ain't a bird i've heard
That he can pull
They say he's fascinatin' till they date him,
Then they hate him
We've never met a bloke so dull.

So the silly sod gets surfin' on the internet
He’s out to find arsehole mate, he's found nobody yet
Is there anybody out there, that will be my pal?
I don't need a nutter, just somebody abnormal

It's dorkamania


'twas a tragedy but, when she spied alfie's nut
Drooping down on top of his gut
She could not believe it, audrey's sides nearly split
‘twas this the end of that fat wheezing git? I know

Audrey's alone at last
But there ain't any doubt, alfie left her up the spout
Audrey's jaw dropped when martin said
Audrey audrey...Yer Get nowt

Audrey was laughing when, nicky, gail, martin then
They never got alf to take oxygen again

Oxygen, that's when...

Audrey's alone at last
Audrey audrey

There ain't no change change chaange
Of insurance, no inheritance
Left in debt, she won't forget, the greedy get alfie

Guitar time

+ counterpoint audrey audrey, audrey oi!

Yer get nowt..


Charlie was a loafer, charlie was a lout, huh
But charlie was the only bloke she ever cared about.

Each night when she's alone, charlie's there

Charlie was an arse, and they said he didn't care
But charlie had a heart, now with her everywhere.

She always swears she knows that he's there
And from her bed echoes charlie's prayer

'charlie's watching over me
Charlie's watching, i can see
Charlie watching
Over me'

They said he was a tramp a vagabond in a vest.
Charlie charlie
But charlie was the business
And she says he was the best.

And from her bed... Charlie's watching

Charlie was a lout, but a hobo
But charlie was saint and he's our hero.

She always said she...

Charlie's watching...


She looks so divine & i can't see
Why she prefers that nerd to me
How come she ain't mine, i wanna be
I wish that i could be ernie

''ve got the blues, if i could choose
Then i would be in ernie's shoes ooee, who's he... Ernie.
It would be my only chance,
If i were wearing ernie's pants
I wish my eyes were, wish my eyes were...

I wish my eyes were ernie's, i wish it could be true
I fantasize i have the eyes of ernie's
To see through and
If my eyes were ernie's, then i would not be blue
Coz if my eyes were ernie's
My eyes would be with you.

Her hands in ernie's as she walks by
It’s gone way too far
I'm shakin' at the knees, she looks so fine
How comes ernie's bird ain’t mine

'with ernie's arse & ernie's chest
In ernie's under-kegs n' vest
I wish my eyes were, i wish my eyes were...

I wish...

Guitar bit

With ernie's hand n' ernie's arms
I wish that i had ernie's charms
I would never let her go, if i were only ernie oh
I wish my eyes were... Wish my eyes were ooooo

I wish my eyes were ernie's...


A thousand streets of 2 bedroom semis
We always dreamed that we’d have one o' these
Oh what a pity they were built by wimpey's

That common lot drove us round the bend
So we moved up to durham's posh end
The likes of us don't need no council dives
This is the sound of our sorry lives

Livin' on newt on hall, livin' on newt on hall
Where would we be if not here
Livin' on newt on hall, livin on newt on hall
Where would we be if not here now.

Oi! Look what i've got, a new mondeo
I polish it but it's only for show
I tell myself that were middle cla(r)ss
He walks around with his head up his arse

Livin' on newt on hall...

Newton hall, newton hall
Newt on hall
Gotta get away from
Newt on hall
Right now.

A thousand streets of shoe box semis
It’s a nightmare livin' in one o' these
We never dreamed it would end up like this
This housing estate just takin' the piss

Livin' on newt on hall...

Livin' on newt on hall..


Yesterday, huey's lips were smiling
Yesterday, when huey was around

She would never have no fear
When she knew huey was ere'
She still hears the sound...

Yesterday, huey's voice a calling
Yesterday, help me huey cries
The day that huey dies.

When the night grows cold and the wind blows cruelly a ha
Then biting lonely chill goes through me
And it feels so bad, so sad that ooeee a ha
She’s never gonna have what she had with huey.

Yesterday, she & huey laughing
Yesterday, a life with huey's charms
A life in huey's arms

And the night grows cold...

Guitar bit

Yesterday, huey's heart was beating
Yesterday, she still had huey
Yesterday, she will keep repeating
Yesterday, 'bring huey back to me'
'bring me back huey'

When the night grows cold...


T was only yesterday that we arrived in palma
Ever since then our love life has been a farce
Pursued and wooed by that
Sun tanned majorca charmer
Now she thinks the sun shines
Out his spanish arse

Of course i knew that somebody was
Bound to meet her
But tell me why did she have to pick charles atlas
Is it just because coz he calls her senorita
Or did the bastard teach her gracias?

I've had enough, i've had enough o' magaluf,
I've had enough ooo me too
I know, i know
To stick around, to stick around to stick around
Would make me blue
Too blue
I've had enough o' magaluf, enough o' magaluf and you aaoo

Now everytime he walked by the swimming pool
She stared at me and said why can't i look like that
Oh what a sucker, a skinny fool,
As she sat pining for that spanish prat.

Guitar time

Morning night and afternoon
She'd nick off down the blue lagoon
She was with that bronze baboon again.

Now i could see them neckin' on from the balcony
I've been a mug, i might o' known, the scheming skunks
There’s nothing goin' on she's conned me
Coz she had her hands inside his swimmin' trunks

I've had enough...


She's in to superstition, black cats & voodoo dolls
I feel a premonition, that girl's gonna make me fall
She's in to new sensations, new kicks in candle light
She's got a new addiction, for everyday and night

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancin' in the rain
She'll make you live her crazy life she'll take away your pain
A bullet through your brain

Upside inside out, livin la vida loca
She'll push and pull down, livin la vida loca
Her lips are devil red, skins the colour o' mocha
She will wear you out livin la vida loca
Livin la vida loca, livin la vida loca

Woke up in new york city, inn a funky cheap motel
Took my heart, took my money
She must o' slipped me a sleeping pill

She never drinks the water makes you order french champagne
Once you've had a taste of her you'll never be the same
She'll make you go insane


Were 21 today, 21 today
We've got the key to the door
Never been 21 before

Father says we can do as we like
Mother says the same

We're a bunch o' weirdos
21 today