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OUR LAST ALBUM?

Vocals and Guitar - Olga
Bass and Vocals - Tommy Goober
Drums and Vocals - Dave The Nut
Produced by Michael (Olga) Algar
Engineered and mixed by Fred Purser
Recorded at Trinity Heights, Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Olga: I must say I loved recording this album, especially the time with all our mates doing backing vocals. Hard work, but a lot of fun!
However, the album isnt great, a bunch of average songs, But I am very happy with I Caught It From Camilla and, for sure, Barry The Roofer, I am well proud of that song but I wanna be completely proud of the album after the last one!

THE DEATH OF BARRY THE ROOFER WITH VERTIGO

Long ago with vertigo, o, o
He had a fatal accident
The balance of barry's had went
And nothing could prevent him falling off
The bu, bu, bu bungalow

The night was young and barry begun downing a pint in the pub
The plan was he would have a curry then soak up the suds in the tub
He took a sup as he stood up he fell to the floor with a yell
He hit the deck, but what the eck, baz says, "i'm feelin" swell"

He buys the scran, back in the van, headed home to relax
Before he sees the door barry is plagued with panic attacks
The answer phone had one message that pushed barry over the edge
"is that barry the roofer man? Please come to me as quick as you can"

Barry the roofer, barry the roofer, barry the roofer man

He misses his meal, back at the wheel, with his ladders and his map
A dude in despair with with a roof to repair, is betting barry's the chap
Barry assessed the damaged and guessed, to leave it alone is probably best
The customer cried "fix it man", that night barry died when he got out the van

Barry the roofer, barry the roofer, barry the roofer man

Barry the roofer, barry the roofer, barry the, barry the, barry the

The balance of barry's had went ...

Barry the roofer ... Barry the, barry the …

CHEATIN' CHICK FROM CHINA

Sittin' in the hot wok takeaway
Every single thing has gone wrong from that day
"i like english man" said she
Cor! I thought free chop suey?
When …
I was sittin' in the hot wok, what a shock i got, didn't i, ay

Sittin' in the hot wok, she wooed me
She was gonna make a mockery ... Of me
Bamboozled by a chinese bint, she milked me dry
And left ... Me skint

In a peking penthouse pad, with the bank account i once had
She knew it but i didn't know that, id end up in a council flat
Tricked and sick, why did he pick a chick
When she's a cheatin' chick from china

Sittin' in the hot wok penniless
She got me in an oriental mess
I tell for, a bird so bad, that hong kong whore
Took all ... I had

Flat broke ... I was in a fix, by a bit o' skirt with chopsticks
For a little eastern crumpet, i was left 10 grand in debt

DAVEY'S DAYS

Davey, wakes wearing a frown, he knows that she's around
Hes in his dressin' gown, down & davey
Davey, dreams of days gone by, makes davey wanna cry
He weeps and wonders why

Since he tied the knot, it's what davey got
Wife of woe, all aggro

Why, why, why, why, oh, oh, oh, oh
She makes davey's days so blue
Oh, oh, oh, oh
These days of davey's, davey's,
These days of davey's these, davey's
Days of davey's

Davey, davey's days are days so glum, how did davey be so dumb
What the bleedin' eck's become of davey
Davey, the memories of what he had, make davey discontent and sad
A lost and lonely lad
Since he tied the knot …

Dave the nut made a big mistake, when he cut the wedding cake
We all said at your peril, but davey wed a she devil
Monday …
His days were gone, the gormless goon, when he went on his honeymoon
Grief and pains, davey says, is what remains of davey's days

NO ONE KNEW THE REAL EMU

Rod could not live with or live without ... You
You were rodney's life and his wordt fear
For the day that no one cared about ... You
Rod died a penniless puppeteer

No one knew what you were goin' through
Destitute, broke and blue, there's nothing that we could do
To save rod or emu, eeoo, eeoo, eeoo

Rod meant nowt unless you came along ... Too
He was up the spout without his bird
Then they said that rod was dead
You changed his life and never said a word

There's only rodney only who
Had suffered more than you

Melancholy rodney, exhausted emu
It all went wrong for rod he, died alone with you

For the day that no one ...

Emu, rod and emu, rod and emu, rod and you

I GAVE MY HEART TO A SLAG CALLED SHARON FROM WHITLEY BAY

With a candy floss she stood
On the sand she looked real doog, to the
Love at first sight, what a drag
I fell for a sea side slag ooee

Over the hills where the lads all yell
Left at the tunnel

Whitley bay, you broke my heart in two
I hate you ...
Whitley bay, it was whitley bay and you
Sharon, sharon, sharon
Slapper from whitley bay
Whitley bay oooo

I was stunned and i was shocked
Neckin' on the cliffs i clocked sharon ... Sharon
With the dodgem dude was she
Said her eyes were for just for me, sharon ... Sharon

Over the hills ...

JEANS BEEN

Tell her what you done, she's done too, you bet
Tell her who you've seen, she'll tell you she's met
Tell her where ya been, she'll o' been, she'll o' been truly
She may fool you, but she ain't never gonna fool me

New york, morcambe bay, all talk, no way ...
Jeans been, jeans been

Anywhere we've been, she's been, jeans been there
Anything we've seen, she's seen, jeans seen yeah
Got them, got that, been there, done that

Tell her were ya goin', she'll be goin' too
Tell her what ya want, she'll want one just like you
Tell her what ya bought, and she'll be buyin' that
She's a psychopathic copycat

Light water valley, bangor, torquay
Jeans been, jeans been

Bought them, bought that, went there, saw that

Got them, got that, been there, done that
Tried this, tried that, heard them, heard that
Drank there, drank that, flew there, flew that
Bought them, bought that, went there, saw that
Yeahhhhhhhhh jeans been

RITA'S INNOCENT

Remember rita when, she was she was contented
And in the kabin all was calm
Remember rita when, she was she was contented
And nowt could beat her then, apart, apart, apart, apart from ...
Little bastard they call chesney
And his evil scheming mam

Rita she wernt amused, he nicked he nicked, the sweets n' that
Now rita, she's accused, she clipped she clipped she clipped the brat, now ...

She wants compo for their chesney
She put rita in a cell
With that little swine called chesney
They both made rita's life hell

Coz rita's innocent, but no one could see
Rita's innocent, but no one could free
Rita's innocent, but no one could see
Except norris

Now cilla she was there, she went, she went, she went with les
To see rita despair, guilty, guilty the jury says, that

Little bastard they call chesney ...

Guilty, guilty ...

Remember rita when she was she was ... Free

SHE'S SO MODERN

La, la, la, la

She's so 20th century, she's so 1970's
She know the right things to say, she got the right clothes to wear
Coz she's a modern girl, oh yeah
A modern girl, ga, ga, ga, ga
A modern girl, oh yeah

And suzie is a jewel, she flashes when she smiles
She's cunning and she's clever, she's got the low down in her flies
Magenta is the best, you know she really makes me laugh
She's always tryin' her impressions, she wants to be a photograph
I gotta say now

She's so modern
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

And jean confided to me, she's mona lisa's biggest fan
She drew a moustache on her face, she's always seer her as a man
And charlie ain't no nazi, she likes to wear her leather boots
Coz it's exciting for the veterans and it's a tonic for the troops

She's so m, m, m, modern
She's so modern

CHENKY IS A PUFF

Easy come, easy go
Chenky's bent and he should know
How we feel when he says to us
Give z a kiss, give z a kiss, give z a kiss, give z a kiss

We don't spread gossip you know
We just want to warn you, so
Beware when you walk home this evenin'
Harmless? Not worth believin' no

Chenky, chenky, is a pu u u uff
Chenky, chenky
Chenky, chenky, is a pu u uff
Yeah chenky is a, chenky is a, chenky is a, chenky is a puff

Chenky said i love you so, to you a kiss i must blow
Oh, but i said it is though, sorry, i am not puff
Chenky still persisted in starin' at me with a grin
Beware ...

Chenky tried his best that night, to give me a love bite
But i dodged him, i got away
Packed with puffs, he was ok
If you think he's had enough look out
Chenky is a puff
Beware ...

Chenky is a puff

I CAUGHT IT FROM CAMILLA

There she stood in finos, hippo with high heels on
They all said that she goes for the slim and skinny ones
Like me

I swigged six jugs o'stella, and she didn't look that bad
She said, "you're my kinda fella", but i wish she never had

We don't wanna be there
We don't wane be anywhere
Near unprotected
What infected me?

With camilla
With camilla
What the eck' went on?
Where's his underpants gone?
When he woke with camilla

A dirty dame i dated, a bint beyond belief
I was intoxicated, and it cost me 3 weeks grief

A sting so crucifyin', it was not my cup o'tea
I filled a fortnight cryin' locked in the lavatory

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

Leavin' together, still it's farewell
Maybe we'll come back, to earth, who can tell
Guess there is no one to blame
Were leavin' ground, leavin' ground
Will things ever be the same again?

It's the final countdown, the final countdown

Uh oh
Were headed for venus, and still we stand tall

Coz maybe they've seen us, and welcome us all, yeah
So many light years to go
Things to be found
So bad we all miss her so

TONY TALKS TRIPE

Tony's loaded, that's what tony says
I drink champagne all day
We know he's a farce: he talks out his arse ... Hey, hey
Tony told me how he made a mint
A life of luxury
We've heard it before, a cock n' bull story

And i saw tony yesterday
He says he's got no mates again
What can he say, what can he do?
If only tony knew

Tony owns a place in the sun he says
That's how i got my tan
But he's been spread on his mam's sunbed man

Tony owed me a fiver a year ago
You'll get it back says he
We know it ain't so coz he ain't got no money

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