THE ALBUM AFTER THE LAST ONE

Vocals and Guitar - Olga
Bass and Vocals - Tommy Goober
Drums and Vocals - The Amazing Mr. Duncan
Produced by Michael (Olga) Algar
Recorded & Engineered by Adie Hardy & Fred Purser
Recorded at Unit 2 Studios, London, & Trinity Heights, Newcastle.

Olga: Very pleased with the production on this one, a few things I would have done differently looking back, but a better album than the previous one, a few nice bits on it! Credit crunch Christmas being one of them! Yeah, overall, quite happy!

CREDIT CRUNCH CHRISTMAS

Its no joke, being stony broke
Canʼt afford no tinsel for the tree
I know i should buy a christmas pud, but i aint got no money

We all get the itch, to be filthy rich
I knew that i would never make a mint
For sure i am poor, but i never thought iʼd be this skint

Do we wanna party, nooooo
Do we wanna celebrate
Do we wanna party, nooooo
Do you wanna celebrate, we don't wanna celebrate
Christmas

Chorus:
Here comes a credit crunch christmas a credit crunch
Oh no mistletoe, crackers or a turkey oh,
Here comes a credit crunch christmas a credit crunch
Gloomy locked in, blue till boxinʼ day.

Carol singers, thereʼs nowt worse
Sittinʼ in the dark and penniless
Knockinʼ at the door, cant take anymore, iʼm gonna kill good
King wenceslas

Heatings off, nothing left to scoff
I darednt turn the fairy lights on
It sucks when ya stuck in a christmas recession

Chorus, guitar bit and stuff.

Now

MOLLY WAS IMMORAL

Molly marked the end, of her rotten marriage
When she began to spend, her time round the garage
A libido & lots, hey hey hey, more than elsie tanners
Molly had the hots, for kevins tools & spanners

The devil with his dungarees on
Kevin was giving molly one

Chorus
Everywhere that tyrone goes they say molly’s wicked
Since kevin had his leg over
And everyone that tyrone knows call kevin his best pal
And she was immoral molly

Molly had her plans, hey hey hey, brazenly got the balls
To get her filthy hands, inside kevins overalls
She went in a huff, started being grumpy
Coz she was up the duff, from having rumpy pumpy

The devil, chorus,

Guitar bit

The devil
Chorus
Chorus repeat

SCIATICA SUCKS

Excruciating, i woke hesitating, oh no
I cant lift me left leg, me foot and me butts dead, uh oh
What a bleedin’ nightmare, achin’ everywhere, cryin’
A sack o’ sciatic pain sending me insane, dyin’

A slipped disc i’d endure, and i know that you can cure lumbago

Chorus
Sciatic attacks sciatic attacks,
Sciatic attacks
Sciaticattacks yer back, it knacks ,in fact its crap and ohhhh
Sciatic attacks sciatic attacks,
Sciatic attacks sciatic attacks
Sciatica atica shucks, sciatica atica sucks

A trapped sciatic nerve, what good does this serve me
I need an ambulance quick, i’m ruined rheumatically

A slipped disc….

Chorus

Its not fair, nobody cares, its no laughing matter
I’m goin’ scatty with sciati, ca ca ca

Guitar bit

Chorus

B.E.E.R

Gimme a B
Gimme an E
Gimme an b
Gimme an R

Oh my head hurts like a bastard, but i'll do it again
Open up the door and i'll walk right in
Cos when your friends start calling the beer starts pouring again
And when the beer starts pouring we all start rolling again

Gimme a B
Gimme an E
Gimme an E
Gimme an R

Oh my head hurts like a bastard, but i'll do it again
Open up the door and i'll walk right in
And when the music gets pumping we all get jumping again
When your friends start calling the beer starts pouring again
The beer starts pouring we all get rolling again
The music starts pumping we all get jumping again

KEVINS COTTON WOOL KIDS

Down on the street where kevin’s house stands
You’ll never meet none of his soft pans- y kids there
They’re nowhere to be seen.

He’s keeps them locked indoors all day
Nobody knocks no more to play, with kevs kids
Coz hes got them hidden away.

We get bullied on the bus
Too cowardly to discuss
Were kevin’s kids us

Chorus
We are, cry babies, they’re softies coz kevin
We are, cotton wool kids, cotton wool kids, cotton wool kids, cotton wools kids,
They’re sissys, coz what he’s wrapped them in.

Comics and cds no chance when
Watching the tvs forbidden, he says blue-
Peters too violent.

He follows them to the bog and back
A mollicoddling maniac, soft as crap
Cotton wool wrapped by kevin.

We get bullied on the bus…

DON'T DRIVE YER CAR UP DRAYCOTT AVENUE

Dont drive your car up draycott avenue
If you do you'll regret it
An hgv will come the other way
You'll still be there next pancake tuesday
Staring up the ridgeway wishing you were home
With your feet up watching tv
Want to arrive in style go an extra mile
Take the fryent way instead

Dont drive your car up draycott avenue
If you do you'll regret it
Time it wrong catch the mums on the school run
You'll just sit there twiddling your thumbs
Watching mum getting lairy at the kids on the backseat
Pumped up on suggery snacks
Its much less stress lighten your load
Take the watford road instead

Dont drive your car up draycott avenue
If you do you'll regret it
You'll get boxed in front and behind
They'll be out their cars exchanging hand signs
Air turning blue with a stream of abuse
But everbodys stuck so its no use
Its much less stress clear your head
Best take the tube instead

Dont drive your car up draycott avenue
If you do you'll regret it
An hgv will come the other way
You'll still be there next pancake tuesday
Staring up the ridgeway wishing you were home
With your feet up watching tv
Clear your head its much less stress
Best take the tube instead

Clear your head its much less stress
Best take the tube instead

DIRTY DOREEN

Dirty doreen, what a pong, £2 pungent perfume on, ooee
O.a.p in stilettos, a fossil on the pill i chose, for me

She’s an obscene, indecent, wrinkly, shes ancient…..

Chorus:
Doreen doesn't care
I cannot take one more granny in a thong dor
Een doesn't care
Zimmer framed fat flirt, what’s her name? That's dir
Ty,
Doreen.

Dirty doreen, am i mad? She’s the oldest hag ive had, its true!
A senior citizen i saw, a slapper pushing 84, aaoo

She’s an obscene…..

Chorus, doreen, doreen, guitar bit.

Dirty doreen she prefers shopping at ann summers, ooee
False teeth and a vibrator lay beyond the bedroom door, for me

Shes an obscene……

Dirty doreen …..

DOWN AT THE OLD 29

Chorus
Arthur gladwood, dodgy mad pud
All the lads would disappear
Dick & monga, they're no longer here

Dougy bell and suggie dell & ken
All the lads out down the 29, back then
Dickie and rob, flip n’ fat bob came
Now things will never be the same, again

Chorus

I can still see, kevin wilkseys face
At the 29 bar on fridays, always
Me & mosey, there till closin’ time
Back in the day the 29 was mine

Chorus

A chilling wind blows so cold
And theres no hint of the old 29

Alfie noble, nick & nobby, pete & keith & mac & robbie
Baz & skinny tim & little paul
Jacky, jimmy, bobby, teddy, donny, harry, willy, bernie
Barry, garry, charlie, freddie, jerry,trevor, billy, ernie
Merry melly, jack & terry, dirty dicka , danny, neil & all

Micky, daft doug, and the lads would be
Down at the 29, happy, with me
But before long, they were all gone oh
Where did me 29 mates go? Who knows

Chorus

Dicky and rob, micky and doug, flip n’ fat bob came

MARTYS MAM

Martys mam forever smiling, she would always grin
Every time we called around to see if martys in
Martys mam would answer the door and with a smiling face
We remember martys mam, the world was a better place.

Seems like only yesterday, marty turned to me to say
What could i do if me mam ever passed away?

On the night martys mam died
In a mess, as you can guess,
Martys in a mess ,but what can we do?
Martys mortified
To get him through, we don’t have a clue
Just what can we do? Marty

Ya may be glum, ya may be down, like i always am
But you’ll be fine with a bottle o’ wine and word with martys mam
Feeling blue not long ago, i gave marty a call
And once i spoke with martys mam, i didn't feel blue at all.

Never a moan and never a groan, never melancholy
Forever and ever in martys memory

On the night martys mam died…..

GORDON BROWN GETS ME DOWN

Maggie thatcher don’t scare me, even though she’s a tory
Alistair darlings a con, still i watch him when the budgets on

He’s a moron, he’s monotonous, gormless gordon bores the pants off us….

Chorus:
Norman tebbit, give him credit, neil kinnock he knew
Gordon, gordon
Tony blair, its only fair, there’s nothing he could do
Gordon, gordon
Gordon makes me yawn, woooo, gordon gets me down, woooo
And now we’ve had enough of gordon, boring, boring gordon brown.

Cameron he made no sense, at the party con, conference
He’s a nerd and he’s a creep, least he doesn't send me to sleep

Hes a moron….
Chorus
Guitar bit

Id rather listen to than not, an interview with john prescott
Tedious and dull no less, whatever boring gordon says

Hes a moron
Chorus…

DECCAS DRINKIN’ DILEMMA

He, decca, told me, decca said he wont be drinkin’
We, know it aint true, decca aint foolin’ me or you

At the bar, deccas here, he’s gone too far. I need another beer
A goon, a nut, a liver shot gut
Till ya get another round in he’s gonna stay put

Chorus
Oh decca no, deccas doctor said
Stay away from the pub, think of tomorrow
Oh decca no, deccas drunk instead
Don't be dumb drunken decca don't die

He, decca’s possessed, he’s george best, never sober
Me, i’ll have a swift half, he says yer havin’ a laugh, you aint with me

Half past ten, he cant stand up, pissed again, i need another sup
A sip, a drop, he’s never gonna stop
Now the doctors dreadin’ decca when deccas on the pop.

Guitar etc

Don't be dumb drunken decca
Drunk dumb drunken decca
And oh decca no decca