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HANKY PANKY

Oh! Baby i fancy
What do you mean?
Baby i fancy
I know what you mean
Oooo ee hanky panky

I'm feeling randy
What do you mean?
I'm feeling randy
I know what you mean
Oooo ee hanky panky

Okey dokey hanky panky
Okey dokey hanky
Okey dokey hanky panky
Okey dokey hanky... Hanky.

O.k. I'll grant yee
What do you mean
O.k. I fancy
I know what you mean
Oooo ee hanky panky

I know that i'm thin and lanky
But i am telling you frankly
What i need is hanky panky

I want to thank ee
Don't be silly
I want to thank ee
I know what you mean
Ooo ee hanky panky

CHEERIO & TOODLE PIP

Who's a pretty boy then?
Your girlfriend says when she's got you wearing a tie
You're looking like a puff and you think i've had enough
Stop and take a look at yourself for a while
And you'll know it's time to say

Chorus:
Cheerio, cheerio
Toodle pip, toodle pip
This is our last goodbye
Don't cry
Cheerio, cheerio
Toodle pip, toodle pip
Our last farewell, goodbye.

Sitting watching coronation street
You decide to put your feet up, just about comfy in your seat
And she says, i'm feeling hungry
If she sends you out for a bag of fish'n'chips
You'll know it is time to say...

Chorus

Need a bit of shut eye so you lie on the couch
She is yapping in the background
Baby's things wedding rings
It's not for you, she will never keep her mouth shut
You have to tell her now, once and for all
Coz now it's time to say...

Chorus

I'VE GOT ASTHMA

I've got asthma and i can not breathe
Can't breath at all!
I've got an inhaler with me
I am choking and my face is blue
Blue and it's getting worse!
I think i will have to lie down... Coz

Chorus:
I've got asthma yeah i've got asthma
Yeah i've got asthma...

I've got asthma and i am wheezing
Wheezing like mad!
I don't think i will sleep tonight
I think i'll reach for my inhaler
Good idea!
I hope it makes me feel better... Coz

Chorus

My inhaler needs a refill
What shall i do?
The chemist is not open yet
Blue face, can't breath and i'm still wheezing
Dear me! Dear me!
I just do not know what to do... Coz

Chorus

JAMES BOND LIVES DOWN OUR STREET

My name is bond! James bond.

James bond lives down our street
I've seen him he catches the 32 bus
James bond lives down our street
Sometimes he sits on the back seat with us
He's got a gun strapped to his chest
You can't shoot him in a bullet proof vest
A clever lad but can be a pest sometime

Chorus:
0.0.7. James bond lives down our street
Jimmy's a spy but both you and i know
Sean connery or roger moore, that i'm not quite sure
But what i know is james bond...
Lives down our street

James bond lives down our street
Sometimes he gets a helicopter to work
James bond lives down our street
Me dad's old-fashioned and he says he's a jerk
He's always chasing a heavy mob
He should go out and get a proper job
He should go out and get a proper job sometime
Chorus

Down our street there lives a spy
Says he works for m.i. 5
He's always a star when you're having a party
Says he went to school with russel harty
He's a real smarty
He is a real smarty.

My hair is blonde! Dyed blonde!

OLGA I CANNOT

I think i'll ring kendra.
(ring, ring) hello, it's olga. Can i speak to kendra please?
Just hold on a minute pet. Kendra? Olga's on the phone.
Do you want to speak to him?
Ahhh...I Cannot!

I first saw kendra at a pub called the ramside hall, in durham
So sweet and tender but she didn't even see me at all, no
She looked so nice, she smelled so fine, oh how i wished that kendra was mine
Five foot one, and eyes that were blue, a smile that made me melt oh what could i do?
I had to get kendra's telephone number really quick, yes.
If i came straight to the point it would do the trick, yes.
I asked her if she'd like to go out with me,
She said that she was flattered but i just couldn't see why she said...

Chorus
Ahhh, olga... I cannot

My boyfriend's sitting on the setee
He does not want, you to see me, so
Olga... I cannot.

I was really de-pressed what could i do, i was blue
I'll ring her up again, in a day or two... On monday
Her boyfriend wasn't there, so i felt lucky
How’s about now, baby, come out with me and she said...

Chorus
I would if i could but i don't think i should
I can't, well i can, but i shan't, it's not good man
Olga... I cannot

I'm sorry that i ever ran,
She said, "don't be daft, ahh olga man"
I want to see you don't get me wrong
I'll contact you soon, it won't be long....
But at the moment... I cannot

I called kendra another 50 times on the phone... Yes
She agreed to meet me but i should have known... Yes
I wound the window down, in the rolls royce
I said "jump in the back" and then i heard a voice
Start to say... Start to saayyy... Start to saaayyyyyy

Chorus

I'm going to laurette, for my holiday in spain
But when i get back, i still cannot begin, so

Chorus
I talked it over with me mum and me dad
But even me sister and the dog thinks you're mad
So olga... Olga.... Ah, olga... I cannot

H.O.

Oh i can't forget a girl i knew
H.o.'S Her name, i bet
There's no one else to blame
For i used to be an easy going man
But now i'm the one of the millions
That she's made feel the same

Chorus:
Oh she's a stick of dynamite
She will go go go
And if you meet her one fine night
You'll know......That
H.o. I told you so
When she gets a hold of you
She never lets go
H.o. Your mind will blow
Destroy the human race
H.o. I told you so
When she gets a hold of you
She never lets go
H.o.h.o.h.o.

Oh she is going to rule the world
H.o.'S Got
The determination and power in her hands
So look out for a blue flash in the sky
Blue baby
Haley’s comet hasn't got a look in now

Chorus

Oh i am warning you stay clear of
H.o.'S Electric danger
To the like of you and me
I've been frightened to do what i say
You'd better lock your door
You'd better hide yourself away...

Chorus

TURTLE CRAZY

I've got a little brother his christian name is sid,
Ever since he saw the turtles he's flipped his lid.
He's always scoffing pizzas just like leonardo,
Donatello raphael and michaelangelo

Turtles, turtles...

He loves the teenage turtles he's collecting all their stuff,
T-shirts, books and badges he can never get enough.
Spending every penny on all that he can find
If it has a turtle on, he's going out of his mind....

Chorus:
Turtle crazy, he's turtle mad,
The turtles they have taken away the little bit sense he had,
In a turtle outfit you really have to laugh,
He wears it every night and day and even in the bath.

He's acting like a madman, he's acting like a clown,
The teenage mutant turtles are coming to our town.
He bought a plastic turtle to keep up with the trend,
He dropped it down the toilet now he's going round the bend....

Turtles on his dressing gown and on the bedroom wall,
Turtles on his vest and his underpants and all....

Chorus

Turtle crazy, he's turtle mad,
The turtles they have taken away the little bit sense he had.
In a turtle outfit you really have to laugh,
He wears it every night and day and even in the bath....

TOMMY KOWEY'S CAR

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
There's a motor store at the top of hylton road
You go there for little bits n pieces for your car
And in the office there sits a secretary she's got
Long blonde hair,
Mr. Tommy kowey fancies her...

Chorus:
I saw her in tommy kowey's car
I saw her in tommy kowey's car
In tommy kowey's car.

At the motor store he was there last tuesday night
With her i saw, they were kissin at the factory door
But she still tells me, there is nothing going on
With us you see it was tommy kowey's wife you saw...

Chorus

At the motor store mr. Tommy kowey’s gotta
Jag-u-ar she's never been in it she says before
But now she tells lies, she was havin dinner out
The other night and she went in tommy kowey's car...

Chorus

RUPERT THE BEAR

There's a little bear on the loose
* he's a lot of fun
Children everywhere are gonna love him a lot
He's their #1
* told them about the things that he's done
And he's going to share all of his music with them

Chorus
Rupert, rupert the bear
Everybody say his name
Rupert, rupert the bear
Everybody come and join
In all of his games

ALFIE FROM THE BRONX

Alfie, can see
Johnny and freddie outside the bronx
And he, will be
Happy with this memory

Chorus:
And it's all echoes, where alfie goes
The bronx is in his head
Alfie's home is through, the life he knew
Has all gone down... With the bronx

Alfie, sadly
Misses the only true friends that he had
Now he, can't see
Himself ever being happy

Chorus

Alfie's home in the bronx
He belongs in the bronx

Alfie, now he
Johnny and freddie remember the bronx
And the family
Alfie once had in the bronx

DEIDRIE'S A SLAG

First of all there was ray
He went with deidrie yeah ray
Thought that he was the bee's knee
But now he's left her and she's pleased
And just incase you meet
Deidrie down coronation street
She's a slag.

Chorus:
Everybody sing... Deidrie's a slag
Slag slag slag
Deidrie's a slag
Big ugly slag
Yeah deidrie's a slag.

Mike baldwin came like a flash
He had a jag-u-ar and cash
Ken saw them at the flicks that night
Neckin’ on he squeezed her tight
And just in case you meet
Deidrie down coronation street
She's a slag...

Chorus

Ken was next said i love you
Why all the o-ther blokes too
Deidrie said what's it got to do with you
It's up to me what i do
And just in case you meet
Deidrie down coronation street
She's a slag...

Chorus

SHE'S A WORKY TICKET

She's a worky ticket i bought her a king cone
And she wouldn’t lick it
She wanted the chocolate one but when i got there
They'd all gone.

Chorus:
Yeah she's a worky ticket everywhere we go
Worky ticket
Leaves me standing in the rain
And freezin in the snow
Worky ticket everywhere we go
Worky ticket, worky ticket...

Sent me up the pub for 20 l and b
But when i got back all she did was yell at me
She was sittin watchin charles dickens on the box
What's that funny smell ya better go and wash yer socks
I couldn't bear it could not take it any more
Grabbed me coat and me hat and slipped out of the door

Chorus...(Guitar Bit)

She's a little worky ticket i bought her a watch and
She wouldn't fit it
I fixed if meself, it smashed upon the shelf
It doesn't fit, never mind...

Chorus

GRIEFSVILLE

Here we go again, down to griefsville, yah
I'm sneezing, i'm wheezing, i'm freezing
I'm outside with no coat on
I turned the lights on, where she'd been
She's with him, she'll kiss him, now it's grim
Again for me i'll, in the meanwhile
Just cry my blues away

Chorus:
I go down, down, down, down,
To griefsville

Oh sitting on the windowsill
I got sick, i got ill
I've got no more time to kill
Cause i am in griefsville

Oh, i am red, got a bad head
Cause she said, she can't see me
I'm upset, cause i can't get what i want
Why should she, how could she
Not see me, today i'm gloomy
She's threw me, out and i'm blue again

Chorus

Gaahhh, i'm blue, gaahhh, what can i do
Gaahhhhh, alright!

Chorus

EVERYBODY JITTERBUG

Ooh you won't ever see me without a smiling face
Diddle iddle i do that's coz i go
Jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbuggin',
Ooh if you're feelin' lonely or you're feelin' blue
Just come with me i'll show you what to do...

Chorus:
Everybody shout hey! Everybody sing hey!
We're all goin' jitterbuggin',
Everybody jitterbug.

Looking out the window baby's gone away
Don't be upset it's not the end
Jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbuggin'
If you want to jitter-bug then good for you
Just come with me i'll show you what to do...

Chorus..(Guitar Bit)

Jitterbuggin' meril-y all night and day
Always laughin', laugh laugh laughin'
Jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbuggin'
If you're feelin' gloomy, tired or got the flu
Come with me i'll show you what to do...

Chorus

MEDIA

PLAY GUITAR WITH OLGA

LYRICS

AUDIO

VIDEO